Wild Turkey (The Lacs)

I got designated driver tonight So I thought that I might get drunk I told Jimmy that he could decide what I'm drinkin' Cause I didn't care what Summer party back in the woods About seven hundred people there I said I'd hit the karaoke machine And sang Garth in my underwear And I can blame it on the Wild Turkey For the cussing and the gettin' loud I was surprised some ole boys didn't jump me Because they say that I was showin' out I'd like to thank everyone that didn't call the law To come and drag me in Last night you saw me drankin' Wild Turkey But you'll never see me drink it again Well they say that I was tryin' every girl that was hot Said I was hangin' up all up on them, if they were married or not Well my jaw was kinda hurtin' in the morning light Yep, I think it got slapped a couple dozen times Eleven twenty and ole Jimmy left an hour ago I'm purdy sure that he's the one who's gonna to carry me home Well my guts is feeling funny so I found me a spot I started calling dinosaurs right between two cars Well, played it off nice, I told them I was mentally ill But when they smelt my breath they knew what it was I had to elude 'em through a cotton field And I can blame it on the Wild Turkey For the cussing and the gettin' loud I was surprised some ole boys didn't jump me Because they say that I was showin' out I'd like to thank everyone that didn't call the law To come and drag me in Last night you saw me drankin' Wild Turkey But you'll never see me drink it again Them turkey suds got me drunk I hit the ditch and rolled my truck I borrowed a car got it stuck Over the fenders up in mud A seventy six Pontiac I hope my friend don't want it back But if he does he'll probably cuss And try to fight and all that stuff Early morning waking up my breath stanking' feeling rough If you gonna be dumb you gotta be tough I had a good dinner but throwed it up Gettin' drunk a hour later Shot in the chest with a taser The cop said I hit my head Front page on the county paper And I can blame it on the Wild Turkey For the cussing and the gettin' loud I was surprised some ole boys didn't jump me Because they say that I was showin' out I'd like to thank everyone that didn't call the law To come and drag me in Last night you saw me drankin' Wild Turkey But you'll never see me drink it again