Bob Rules (Williams Keller)

(The price is wrong, bitch) Twelve o'clock check out we've got an entire hour Where is the remote, no time for the manual power I put that name tag over the heart On the shirt, that says 'Bob Rules' I stood in line for days With all the other fools And then the voice of an angel that belonged to Rod Roddy Called my name and said 'Come on down, you're the next contestant' Oh my God I was hyperventilating I hope I do not wake up from this dream; Which is what it was Janice she slinked on wearing a diamond dog collar Still in complete shock I muttered the words 'One Dollar' But, everyone else overbid, And their eyes turned to me with the rage For my dogs will be draped in diamonds And I get to go onstage I picked up old Bob and I hugged him just, like a bear He said 'Put me down son and feast your eyes over there' The sliding doors were ajar, I was a happy as I could get For it was a brand new car-- A Chevrolet Chevette All because the voice of an angel that belonged to Rod Roddy Called my name and said "Come on down you're the next contestant" Oh my God I was hyperventilating I hope I do not wake up from this dream Which is what it was The showcase showdown was set for a quarter to noon My spin did not make it all the away around, I got booed So I pulled down as hard as I could Just like they all knew that I would I was happy to be alive When it landed on $0.95 Next thing I knew I was standing next to a Marine Who did not like his showcase and passed it on over to me Crunching the numbers I tried to remain calm How much is an all expenses paid trip to Guam? Before I could answer a banging came to my door The housekeeper said 'You must leave now or pay more -- you have dog' I guess I fell back asleep And slept right through that show But the next time I'm in L.A. You know where I'm gonna go And hope that a voice of an angel that belongs to Rod Roddy Call my name and says "Come on down, you're the next contestant" Oh my God I hope I don't hyperventilate I hope I do not wake up from this dream Which is what it will be