Glass Joe's Title Fight (Starbomb)

Bonjour! Hello! My name is Glass Joe I'm ze toughest French boxer zat you're ever gonna know I'll score a TKO then drink a fine Bordeaux And flatten all my opponents like croissant dough I fight next week for ze champion belt Mr. Sandman is tough, and I might need a little help So I hired Doc, he once trained an elf Named Little Mac so now, I believe in myself! I'm Doc, ha! This bitch is gonna die! His overall record stands at 1 to 99 He's been hit in the head seventy-five too many times Now he wants to fight Sandman? Dear God, WHY?! His head and his ass about to go through an estrangement I think I'll start making all the funeral arrangements I have to be responsible and tell him he can't win-- Here's ten bucks! Fuck it Let the training begin! Whoa, whoa I'll be the champion I have the heart of a lion That's really not gonna be enough I've got the skills No, you don't I've got the power Wrong again You'll never catch me I am like the Eiffel Tower That doesn't move! Whoa, whoa I'll be the champion I'm building an Arc of Triumph That took, like, thirty years to build Got my beret My eau de toilette I'll break the Sandman like a stale baguette No sweat! Now it's four weeks later And it's time for the fight I'm sad I gotta watch a man die tonight Do not worry, Doc Glass Joe is built to last! You get winded when you open up the fridge too fast! Your weight training diet's all wine and cheese You've got the body of a man with an awful disease Your arm muscles look like a deflated apple fritter And your punching bag is filled with cotton candy and glitter Zere's the bell! Zanks for your help, Doc! Yeah, see you in Hell Zis is my moment Vive la France All of my training Has led to this chance I benched ten Q-Tips, I ran five feet I did a half-pushup, victory will be sweet! There's Mr. Sandman, here he comes! But I believe in myself so I have already won! Whoa, whoa I'll be the Champion I have the heart of-- Oh! Ah! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ahh!! Whoa, whoa I like candy corns Please put them in my donuts Ugh! Yo, you beat the French out of him! I have my-- Ugh! Agh! Ough! My favorite color is seven Awgh! No more peanuts for me, stewardess Godzilla is my dad