Luigi's Ballad (Starbomb)

Princess Peach, won't you listen to my speech I don't have any stars of invincibility But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me I'm your Luigi What up, bitch?! I got a 1UP, bitch! What's inside that Question Block? It's my dick! It's-a-me a-Mario I'm more Italian than pastrami I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami I saved you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky Must I be a raccoon to get inside your Tanuki? I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen My mushroom's now mega if you know what I mean So suck it! Mario, you always do this shit I like a girl and you ruin it By yelling stuff about your dick Until they go away Hey, Luigi, it's okay That Mario's a bit risqué Just tell me what you need to say Please don't be afraid! Oh, Princess! It means so much for me to hear you say that. The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that- GOD DAMN IT I'm here to pleasure that ass! I'd like to go first, Princess, but I always come last And you say we'll get together but I'm jackin' off alone Koopa Troopa skeletons aren't the only Dry Bones! I am tired of your run-around it's such a fuckin' hassle I go through shit and then you're in another fuckin' castle You gotta think about it? Well I don't believe the hype You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smokin' on my Warp Pipe! Oh Em Gee! I can't decide on which of you should be the guy To take me on a moustache ride that'll redefine my life I'm ready to give love a shot It's not about how many coins you got I just know I like you a lot Yo sluts! Check out my yacht! Ugh! Let me take you on a magic kart ride I'll bust all yo' balloons when I smack your backside We'll have some fun, I'll bring my friends along I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong Come on, Peach! It's time to make your choice! I'm the only plumber that can make your boobies rejoice Green lanky-ass brother ain't got shit on me It's time to live out our story of the Princess and the pea (nis!) So! Who's it gonna be, Princess? I choose... Toad! TOAD?! Well his whole body's shaped like a dick. Ohhhh, mhm, yeah, definitely. Oh, yeah, okay, mushrooms look like dicks, yeah-huh.