Once Upon a Time (Zappa Frank)

Once upon a time Way back a long time ago, When the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than Mark Bolman Oh, thank you Frank And don't misspell it, That's not Marc Bolan that's Mark Volman Hiya friends I wanna welcome each and everyone of you I wanna say to you tonight I feel great I mean, I feel great everywhere I go people are always comin' up to me and they say Mark, Mark, Mark Mark are you kiddin' Lemme tell you this friends: I am not kiddin' I mean, I am portly and I am maroon well, how many people here tonight can guess what I am? Aaaah I can't guess what you are Well, then I'll give you some clues And the first clue is I am portly Does that help? Not much No, I don't know who you are Okay, I got one Clue number two: I am double knit Does that help? No, not much Whaddya mean? Well, then I've to give you one more clue I know this is gonna give it away And I hate like damn to tell you this But clue number three: Ich bin Maroon! Ahhhhhhhh you're a sofa! Once upon a time Way back a long time ago, When the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than Mark Volman ... Thank you, Frank ... trying to convince each and every member of this extremely hip audience here tonight, that he was nothing more, nothing less than a fat maroon sofa, Suspended in the midst of a great emptiness a light shined down from heaven (* twinkling sounds *) And there he was ladies and gentleman, the good lord And he took, he took a look at the sofa, And he said to himself "Quite an attractive sofa" "This sofa could be commercial" With a few more Margaritas and the right company However, I digress "What this sofa needs" said the Big 'G' "Is a bit of flooring underneath of it" and so in order to make this construction project possible, he summoned the assistance of the celestial corp of engineers, and, by means of a cute little song in the German language (which is the way he talks whenever it's heavy business) the Good Lord went something like this: (take it away Jim Pons!) Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag unter diesen fetten fliessenden Sofa Everybody! Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag unter diesen fetten fliessenden Sofa and of course ladies and gentlemen that means: "give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofa" and sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness as far as vision permits, stretching all the way from Belfast to Bogner Regis and the Lord put aside his huge cigar and proceeded to deliver unto the charming maroonish sofa the bulk of his message with the assistance of a small electric clarinet and it went something like this... take it away Jim Pons! Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag unter diesen fetten fliessenden Sofa Everybody! Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag unter diesen fetten fliessenden Sofa And of course ladies and gentlemen, that means: Give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofa And sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness as far as vision permits, Stretching all the way from Belfast to Bagner Regious And The Lord put aside his huge cigar And proceeded to deliver unto the charming maroonish sofa the bulk of his message With the assistance of a small electric clarinet And He went something like... this: