Better Off Without a Wife (Waits Tom)

All my friends are married Every Tom and Dick and Harry You must be strong To go it alone Here's to the bachelors And the bowery bums And those who feel that they're the ones Who are better off without a wife I like to sleep until the crack of noon Midnight howlin' at the moon Goin' out when I wanto, comin' home when I please I don't have to ask permission If I want to go out fishing And I never have to ask for the keys Never been no Valentino Had a girl who lived in Reno Left me for a trumpet player Didn't get me down He was wanted for assault Though he said it weren't his fault Well the coppers rode him right Out of town I like to sleep... Selfish about my privacy As long as I can be with me We get along so well I can't believe I love to chew the fat with folks And listen to all your dirty jokes I'm so thankful for these friends I do receive I like to sleep...