The Sun I Carried Alone (Iskald)

My mind is travelling to a distant past Away from this wasteland so cold and vast I think of the things that I never do Like watching the moon and thinking of you Now I will tell you what I have done all since I left I've been holding the gun I've carried the memories of you my dear But now I feel lost and surrounded by fear You are my mom and you would know best what are the feeling that grow in my chest It feels like it's bounded and made out of hate What can I do but sit here and wait I have been changed, I have grown and all I hope you forgive my incompetent scrawl My hands are not soft They are hard as steel So is my heart, but I can still feel I had no choice, when I left you alone It hurts even now, down to my bone But I will come home to sing you a song I hope you have faith, I hope you are strong The memory of you, I left it at home It feels like a sun that I carry alone You are now gone inside my mind You will see me, but I will be blind The days have not been kind to me Oh how miss the smell of the sea All I now can breed through the air Is blood, hate and a killing despair Maybe I won't return at all This journey might be my final fall I can't remember the face of you I thought I had it, I thought I knew I want to release this final shot My soul will fly from this senseless spot This is my dream, I fear it will end All my love to you I will send. I hope you receive this note from me. I want to escape, to live and be free I regret if I told you a single lie I'm ready to leave, I'm ready to die