Wherever He Ain't (Peters Bernadette)

This ninny of a puppet was available The second that he called And all he had to do was yell, "Hey, Mabel" And this dumb hash slinger crawled For seven lousy years, I've watched him swear And shove and shout "With you or without you" Well, it's gonna be without I gotta give my life some sparkle and fizz And think a thought that isn't wrapped up in his The place that I consider paradise is Wherever he ain't, wherever he ain't No more to wither when he's grouchy and gruff No more to listen to him, bellow and bluff Tomorrow morning I'll be struttin' my stuff Wherever he ain't, wherever he ain't Enough of being bullied and bossed Ta-ta, Auf Wiedersehn and get lost I walk behind him like a meek little lamb And had my fill of his not giving a damn I'll go to Sydney or Ceylon or Siam Wherever he ain't and wherever he ain't It's time for little Nell to rebel If he's at Heaven, I'll go to Hell My little love nest was a terrible trap With me behaving like a simpering sap And so I'm looking for a spot on the map If he's going south, I'm going north If he's going back, I'm going forth Wherever he ain't