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Ever So Clear (Bushwick Bill)

See, most of my life I never had shit I felt like an outcast, treated like a misfit Damn near didn't make it on my day of birth Thinking was I really supposed to be on this planet earth I take a deep breath, and then another follows 'cause hardship is kinda hard to swallow See, it's rough bein a loner Not knowin any given day and time I could wind up a goner See, people got it bad from jump street And bein short is just another strike against me I used to get funny looks 'cause I was small And tryin to make it was like runnin through a brick wall Given the odds I was up against, bro The average nigga woulda quit a long time ago But now I've got a record out I'm doin shows, people payin to see me turn it out Now I'm the spice around town It's funny how an album can change a nigga's life around I got friends and bitches on my dick But when they look at Richard all they see is Bushwick Sometimes I don't know a friend from a foe And every different day it's a different fuckin hoe And now that my pockets are gettin bigger I'm meetin hoes who only want to juice a nigga They tell me that they love me and all that But really they just wait for me to fall flat So they can get me for my income Take me for all I got, and then some Like Trina, you dig I fucked up and got too attached to the bitch's kid Knowin that she used the baby to use me Took him out my life, mentally abusin me But as the time went by I got another slimmy And she was just like the first one screamin gimme But not in the exact same way She had a different type of game she liked to play Her name was Crystal, she played the quiet type And for a little while shit seemed alright But just like the first hoe, homie When shit got hectic the bitch broke out on me And it's gettin outta hand, gee 'cause nobody seems to understand me Reminiscin got me feelin kinda low I broke out the Ever-Clear and then I drunk some mo' Until it was all gone Now I'm lookin for somebody to take my pain out on But not just anybody, gee I'ma take that on to Mica 'cause she's the closest to me Full of that Ever-Clear and high on that buddah Get to the house all I'm thinkin bout is shootin her 'cause shootin her would be sweet But you know what'd be sweeter? if I make her shootin me Call me crazy, but that's what I'm thinkin I'm trippin from all that smokin weed and drinkin But I knew she wouldn't do it on her own, so I provoked her Punched her, kicked her, and chocked her She still wouldn't grab the gun And at that time I wasn't thinkin about no one Damn near crazy I went and grabbed the baby Held him by the door and said i'ma throw his ass out, hoe She went to cryin, somebody stop him I said: you better grab the muthafuckin gun or i'ma drop him She snatched the baby out of my hands We started fighting, punching, scratching, and biting When we fell on the bed, check this shit All kinds of crazy shit was goin through my head So I ran and got the gun and came back to her Loaded it up and handed the gat to her I grabbed her hand and placed the gun to my eye muscle She screamed stop and then we broke into another tussle Yo, durin the fight the gun went off quick Damn! aw shit, I'm hit (Aw... my eye, I can't see Why you shot me in the eye? I woulda shot you in the body Why you shot me in the eye?) Ridin in the ambulance everything is hectic I can't get a grip, I just can't check this Everybody's cryin, could it be I'm dyin Bullet in my head, in the bed was lyin Where's Mica? I want to tell her I love her With an [ ] in my arm I took a picture for an album cover Goddamn, the shit's a trip, gee Five different doctors with needles tryin to stick me I hear my family hollerin he needs us Durin the confusion, man, I seen jesus My mom's on the phone long-distance from New York Here comes the doctors again tryin to rip me apart I got a monkey on my back, I can't shake it I'm havin suicidal thoughts hopin that I don't make it But I'ma make it 'cause something's steady urgin me Five hours passed, I made it through surgery And the doctor said I wouldn't make it through the night But god told me everything is gonna be alright And I'm glad that I'm here, gee But it's fucked up I had to lose an eye to see shit clearly Aw man, I made it I made it And everyone gets to hear my story I made it But don't try this at your home Learn from my mistakes Kick the beat in, Bido