Simon Said (Cook Dane)

If you shaved your beard, and put on a dress, you'd be a great female impersonator And if you win this contest, we will have failed Don't mean to be rude, but you look like the Hulk's wife Simon said Simon said The things that Simon said Simon, we can tell that you were born this season Your face was the same one that I make every time I watch the Real Housewives of New Jersey And Simon, you have the honesty of Abe Lincoln, and the charm of the guy who shot him (3, 4! ) Did you take singing lessons? Do you have a lawyer? Then you should sue your teacher You sounded like Sher after she's been to the dentist Did you really think you could win American Idol? You must be deaf Simon said Simon said The things that Simon said Simon said Simon said The things that Simon said Simon says no so often that when he says yes it's because someone just asked him if he said no You are the inspiration for people everywhere who want to be told they suck on TV in front of millions of people But let's not forget the other judges (Randy) Yo dog, I don't know man, it was a little bit pitchy, it was not good for me, I was like "WHAT!" (Ellen) That was, uh, it was, it was really great, you look like you're, uh, having a good time up there it was great (Karen) You've gotten lost in this competition, find out what kind of artist you are, you can win this whole thing right now Now let's hear it from Ryan, after the break I assume there was no mirror in your dressing room tonight You've invented a new form of torture You came across like a background singer for a background singer I'm sorry, there's bad, then there is you Simon said Simon said The things that Simon said Simon said Simon said The things that Simon said Simon said (You know you said it) Simon said (You know you said it) The things that Simon said The things that Simon said The things that Simon said