Dirt Eater (Cretin)

Everyday you'll find her out there Crouched down on her knees Rain or shine she spends some time Yet her yard is full of weeds One day while watching from my window And much to my surprise I found out her dirty secret She tried so hard to hide Normal by all appearances No one would suspect The nice old woman from next door Is a filthy wretch She fingers through the soil And she picks the pebbles out Then scoops up a spoonful And pops it in her mouth Consuming clumps of earth She gobbles clots of dirt The grit and grime she eats Gets caught between her teeth Scarfing scum and mulch and muck A frantic feasting binge She stuffs her withered cheeks so full Mud dribbles down her chin She shovels gravel in her face And swallows every bit I'll bet you that it hurts like hell When she takes a shit Consuming clumps of earth She gobbles clots of dirt The grit and grime she eats Gets caught between her teeth