The Obsolete Man (Jumpsteady)

I am a man I strive to survive as best I can In bed I lie as I wonder why What it means in this world to live then die Suicidal thoughts play across my mind In a bind I wish I could fade sometimes Flee out to sea like a lost memory Or a dark fantasy that could never be Anger would then was away like rain How can it stain my heart with pain Please tell me why Kenny had to die He was way too young to be where he lies While another friend suffers endlessly Her body afflicted with HIV Miss my dog with her head in my lap Can still see her on the floor collapsed At night demons attack my sleep Nightmares cast from the shadow deep Moments in time slipping by As few have your back but many deny I'm punchin the clock and hole in my walls Wonder if God is there when I fall Only when I die will my dues be paid Upon wages of sin will I be weighed I'm not obsolete cause I'm alive Through the gate of death I do survive Past the dark fold there's a light to behold There's a mission in life that remains untold The path I choose I cannot lose There's somethin' to learn here before I'm through With no demand let my mind expand 'Cause every life on Earth is part of a plan The joys in life come by surprise Upon this truth sanity lies Think of my best days there's more to come Think of my victories yet to be one Think of my loves yet to be found Think of my friends gathered 'round The worth of life is not measured by days One can live long yet trapped by a barricade Follow my dreams no matter the cost Try to move forward even when lost What is known is life is a loan At the end of the road is a gravestone Like a man on the edge with nothin' to lose I see and do what I wish to do 'Cause I'm all in with a short stack Never look back if it turns out whack With this life we breathe comes mystery Shadows cast on reality Don't you hear the ghostly calls Transcending from beyond our walls There's a world out there beyond our own A place human eyes will never know Angel's watch from beyond the grave Follow your soul if you wanna be saved I've seen miracles before my eyes Hope their revealed when I die As the circle of life ends where it began I am a man