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What Am I (Chino XL)

Yo I don't even know what the vibe is kid All these different things seperatin us It got me walkin this fence man and I don't even know what side I'ma fall on B Can't see it Well I'm a zebra y'all ("Half Puerto Rican, half black, but you don't speak Spanish") Don't call me zebra y'all ("Half Puerto Rican, half black...") Now how old are you? About six, on my BMX, doin tricks Back to Middlesex with a couple of poor white trashy brats Everything was coochie crunch till it was time for lunch They said to wait in the back, they said that Pops ain't like black See where I was the population's mostly white Ain't it? They wanna see you jiggaboo with your face painted Be brought home by one of their daughters and their fathers fainted They want to see you a failure so I never became it Light-skinned, showed them lead, curly-headed Called me names, I was different, I was gifted, they made me ashamed Found out that I'm a different shade when I'm in the second grade Abe Lincoln's play, they want me to portray a slave My momma's face went pale she looked like she wanted to puke Now that I know the truth I'd rather play John Wilkes Booth Although my family came and bitched and in the play my role was switched My grandma told me I was fixed my problems wasn't fixed My family seen my views of the world distort Moms last resort, she decided we would move to Newark I took a deep breath leaving everything I knew behind The country air the green grass and my piece of mind Harassed by white cops on our way we're pulled out our car Mistook my mom for Joanne Chessimar (?) now I'm really scarred What am I, I'm confused, can't decide What am I who am I what am I Black or white, I can't identify What am I who am I what am I I'm confused, can't decide What am I who am I what am I Black or white, I can't identify What am I who am I what am I Culture shock, Newark's a far cry from Middlesex Broadly called projects, black eyes, regrets Torn lives, I've never seen so many people depressed My mental gets molested, physical takes violent threats Stress, walkin home from school's like a terrorist test I learned blacks could be racist too, somehow still I felt I was blessed Even my teachers called me half-breeds and all of that I was scared of livin here but also scared of movin back See where I was before I was the darkest thing they ever saw They figured that I'm black, white around They kick me like a soccer ball White people didn't accept me Fuck you Black people didn't accept me Fuck you Puerto Ricans didn't accept me Fuck you Diggin researchin my identity it gots me goin cuckoo "I'm the yellow nigga right? I'm tired of that. I am not passing, I am black! I was born black, I live black, and I will die, proud to be called black!" So now I'm goin "Hey niggaz" at niggaz that say Chino's not black They come to my house and tell my African mother that In fact causin crackup they said no sister would attract to me These same brothers got perms to get their hair like mine was naturally Descrimination, affects a brother's education Hands up in black history class, they never called on my ass But wait, growin at a rapid rate I digest their hate, it's family Found out my father left me when I'm three Dealt with felt if I knew my Spanish family they'd help Every mixed person I met they mostly just kept to themself We moved to East Orange I set it off talent shows staring A high yellow nigga's progression, my flavor's pouring Now how old are you? About nineteen lettin off my steam Used to be a punchin bag, but now I stomps, in hip-hop fiend Now I get the goya jokes, Menudo jokes, Rico Suave jokes But females rush me and the MC's steal up all my quotes See what I lacks in melanin I makes up wit adrenalin Your weak attempts at blemishin my mixed heritage I'm treasurin Don't need caucausian acceptance just that of a human being Laughed and spit at I don't represent cause I am not Spanish speaking Now how many dues must I pay to win You're angry and you're stressin that opression but you judge me by the skin I'm in when Adam Clayton Powell's, light-skinned and Farrakhan the brother's, light-skinned and Elijah Muhammad's also, light-skinned Discrimination from my own peoples is making my temper go thin so So stop playing me slight saying my song's aight instead of hype Don't called me red-boned, or light and bright and damn they're white I ain't no zebra, ain't no half of original either Don't call me mulatto I stab you with a broken bottle Callin your brother oreo get off it yo, now Tom consider He could be like Chino XL, a yellow ass nigga