Covered wagon medicine show
Take you to the place where the healing flows
Weak in spirit, we got the juice
Won't save your soul, it'll shine your shoes
Treated king to kangaroo
Santa Fe to Timbuktu
Don't be fooled by imitation
This is the stuff that cured a nation
We took the tube and the high plains too
Never stopped long, just passing through
A drop of the laughter of the maids of France
Makes a hopeless cripple dance
It was really vile weather when we got tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound as they chased us out of town
In India we're all the rage
Discovered that it's great as aftershave
Dropped in the sea, just off Japan
Swapped 20 bottles for an aqua-walkman
Immunity from ridicule
Improves your brains if you're a fool
And I read in the Middle East, they traded some for a hostage release
Now if you're bald it'll give you hair
If you got straight trousers it'll give you flares
Feeling up, you'll get depressed
Out of style, here's a brand new dress
It was really vile weather when we got tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound as they chased us out of town
Who the hell is that?
One bastard goes in, another comes out
Cut it out (Come over here)
Cut it out
Cut it out (Come over here)
Cut it out
I'm innocent of anything!
Are you making some kind of joke?
Ooh no!
I don't think it's nice, you laughing
The stuff we sell is just the best
Passing all consumer test
Days of heaven, nights of sin
Voodoo stick and sharks fin
When all around you seems like hell, just one sip will make you well
Multipurpose in a jar
If you ain't I'll it'll fix your car
In days of yore for all bad feelings
Washing socks and stripping ceilings
Nowadays it's used medicinally for all known human malady
It was really vile weather when we got tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound as they chased us out of town
Wanted in 14 counties of this state
The condemned is found guilty for the crimes of murder
Armed robbery of Citizens, state banks and post offices
The theft of sacred objects
Arson in state prison
Perjury
Bigamy
Deserting his wife and children
Inciting prostitution
Kidnapping
Extortion
Receiving stolen goods
Selling stolen goods
Passing counterfeit money and contrary to the laws of this state, the condemned is guilty of using marked cards
And therefore, according to the powers invested in us we sentence the accused here before us
Tuco Benedito Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez (Known as "The Rat")
And any other aliases he may possess to hang by the neck until death
May god have mercy on your soul
Proceed
Duck you suckers!
I don't have to show you any stinking badges