Mortal Kombat High


Hey, welcome to Mortal Kombat High School. You're the new transfer student from Street Fighter High, right?
Yeah I'm Ken. I like wearing red and making friends. Yay!

What's up? I'm Johnny Cage let me show you around.
I'll introduce you to the crew and tell you how to get down.
That hottie doing homework over there is Sonya Blade,
She's the most popular girl in our whole entire grade.
And that's Liu Kang, his kick flip helped the track team win the relay race,
Mileena's sorta sexy but she's kinda got a butterface.
And over there is Raiden, he's the smartest kid in class,
And this is Shang Tsung, he'll pull your spine out through your ass!

Oh, hi you're in Mortal Kombat High
Where the girls are fly and there's a pretty good chance you'll die
Like 105 percent baby!
That's why it's time to test your might
So take your best friend and impale him on these spikes

Johnny Cage I don't know if I'm gonna fit in at this school...
Hey, don't worry Ken the students here are super chill and cool!
Scorpion's romantic and he's gentle as a deer,
Listen to the new love song he wrote, it's called "Come Here"!
Come here!
Get over here!

This is Goro he's a demon and he really loves to kill,
He'll pull your nut sack up over your head and roll you down a hill!
And Kano he is criminally insane, oh, by the way, though
If I say so, I can make Sub-Zero crush your skull like Play-Doh!
The moral is Street Fighter High can't deal with the fatalities,
And if you fuck with us your death is an eventuality.
You better watch your back 'cause we'll be watching closely
And if you step to us you know that ass is gettin' toasty

Yeah, it's prime time for romance
Make Kitana your date or she'll decapitate you with her fans
There's a chance you will not survive this dance
There are so many wondrous ways for us to kill your ass

Killed at a blood transfusion (Donatality)
Stabbed while ejaculating (Masturbatality)
Eating too much pasta (Carbohydratality)
I'm having trouble peeing That's a Prostatality!
Killed as you're conceived (Procreatality)
Muerte Español (Translatality)
Cut by a triple axel (Figure Skatality)
I like it when a girl has a nice personality!

...Ahem I'll see myself out.