This Is Calm

Dallman Christopher

So, this is calm
Should I feel optimistic?
Should I greet the sun with a smile?

Because as it is I roll to my side
And I lay there
For a good long while

So this is calm
Should I feel ok?
And should this 'ok' set my inspiration reeling?

Should I feel like I am pulled in all directions
I feel no pull
I feel nothing

I ride the train from Queens to Morningside
I keep my eyes straight ahead, keep my face dignified
But is this linear or a downward slide?
This is calm

When I asked you to leave
You threw your wine at the wall
And it bled down, red on white

My stomach did not turn
I could not match your tears
I just stood there thinking, 'what a beautiful sight!'

I ride the train from Queens to Morningside
I keep my eyes straight ahead, keep my face dignified
But is this linear or a downward slide?
This is calm

I guess I should feel like
I can do anything
But, I can't do anything at all
I can't do anything
but fall down on my knees
at the whims of my dreams
I can't do this to myself anymore
Stay so strong and still
This is my voice!
I wonder why I can't feel this
I wonder why I can't feel this
I wonder why I can't feel this
Questions in my throat
I don't know how
I don't know how to live
But I will learn
To live
To stand
To breathe
To taste
To love
I will move on