Paintball's Coming Home

Half Man Half Biscuit

They’ve got the whole world in their house
They’ve got the whole wide world in their house
They’ve got the whole world in their house
To see the new conservatory

They go ten pin bowling after work
They go ten pin bowling after work
They go ten pin bowling after work
And they’re getting married on a Caribbean beach

They’ve got a German shepherd dog called Prince
They’ve got a German shepherd dog called Prince
They’ve got a German shepherd dog called Prince
The one called Sheba died

They know where things are in B&Q
They know where things are in B&Q
They know where things are in B&Q
And they’ve got The Joy Of Sex video

If I were a linesman
I would execute defenders who applauded my offsides

They were due on the Crystal Maze
Yeah, they were due to go on the Crystal Maze
Yeah, they were due on the Crystal Maze
But they got mugged in Florida

They went up in a hot air balloon
They declared their love in a hot air balloon
Yeah, they drank champagne in a hot air balloon
And had a row on New Year’s Eve

They’ve got nothing but total respect for
They’ve got nothing but total respect for
They’ve got nothing but total respect for
Annie Lennox

And if I’d known they were coming, I’d have slashed me 
wrists