Upside Down

Burns Brian

Officer, good evening, allow me to explain
The spectacle you see beside this road.
It's been a long, hard day, and I am just a victim
Of circumstances beyond my control.
Now let me just assure you that I'm not a drinkin' man; 
I work hard to uphold the law.
Those people in that other car are friends of my ex-wife, 
And no matter what they told you they saw... 

The car was upside down when I got here; 
I left it right side-up some time ago.
Some kids drove by and poured somethin' all down my shirt; 
It might have been tequila, I don't know.
I stepped into the woods for a midnight prayer, 
I don't know what went down while I was not here, 
But that stop sign was on the hood when I bought the car, 
And the car was upside down when I got here.

Officer, my reputation speaks for itself, 
I'm as innocent and gentle as a child.
That fistfight with my mama, that was three months ago; 
I can't believe that's still on my file.
Now a conscientious peacekeeper such as yourself
Must surely recognize an honest guy, 
And since most of my money goes to charitable causes, 
I can't afford a DWI...