Remembering

van der Veen Astrid

there was a time when you used to hold me to make me feel safe
and there was a time when you used to tell me stories
and there was a time when you used to sing me your songs
but I can't remember the last time
no
then there was a beautiful day when it all got to me
it all made sense but just a little too late
it could have been seen but there was no one to look at me
now
this beautiful day changed my life
you did not keep your promise and you never looked at me
cause then you would have seen that you and the one that's been gone
did everything wrong for me to handle it all and all alone
because no one feels more scared than I was
when lying in bed all alone
covered under the sheets cause the screaming was too loud
trying to forget the anger I saw when beating the both of us
afraid of you
for going upstairs
holding my hand
telling it won't happen all again
now that's the fear that I feel
when lying in bed
remembering and reliving every part that's kept in my heart
which I wish I never had
because then I wouldn't be able to feel the hurt and the pain
knowing there is someone to love me for real
now the pain that I feel when lying in bed
lying in bed all alone
remembering