Honey, Don't You Want a Man Like Me?

Zappa Frank

Honey honey, hey 
Baby don't you want a man like me 
Honey honey, hey 
Baby don't you want a man like me 

He was the Playboy Type (he smoke a pipe) 
His fav'rite phrase was "OUTA-SITE!" 
He had an Irish Setter 

It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night 
The moon was dim, the band was tight 
They did the bump together 

What a splendid sight,(Ren-nen-nen-nen) her teeth were white 
The drinks were cheap (it was Ladies Nite) 
He was glad that he met her 

She was an office girl ("My name is Betty") 
Her fav'rite group was HELEN REDDY 
(They discussed the weather) 

Honey honey, hey 
Baby don't you want a man like me 
Honey honey, hey 
Baby don't you want a man like me 

Honey honey, hey 
Baby don't you want a 
Baby don't you want a 
Baby don't you want a man 

She was the lonely sort, just a little too short 
Her jokes were dumb and her fav'rite sport 
Was hockey (in the winter) 

He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest 
Any sport with a PUCK had to be 'bout the best 
As he jabbed his elbow in her ("Get it honey? Get it?") 

Later on they went off to where the music was soft, 
The candles were drippy, they saw a REAL HIPPY 
Who delivered their dinner 

The rice was brown, and soon they found 
That the crowd around that had jammed the room, 
Well it seemed to be getting thinner 

Honey honey, hey 
Baby don't you want a man like me 
Honey honey, hey 
Baby don't you want a man like me 
Honey honey, hey 
Baby don't you want a 
Baby don't you want a 
Baby don't you want a man 

He took her home to a motor court 
She wouldn't kiss him, he tried to ignore it, 
But it made him angry! 
angry, it made me angry, it made me so angry I could have killed that 
lousy BITCH!) 

He called her a slut, a pig and a whore 
A bitch and a cunt and she slammed the door 
In a petulant frenzy! 
(A petulant frenzy, this is a petulant frenzy. 
I'm petulant, and I'm having a frenzy) 

On the sofa she weeps 
BOO HOO HOO HOO 
She weeps and she weeps 
BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO 
She weeps and she peeks 
Through the curtain 

He just got in his car 
But the battery's dead 
So he asks to use the phone 
And she gives him some head 
And that's the end of the story 

Honey honey, hey 
Baby don't you want a man like me 
Honey honey, hey 
Baby don't you want a man like me 
Honey honey, hey 
Baby don't you want a 
Baby don't you want a man 
Baby don't you want a man sometimes?