Criminal

Eminem

[Intro] 
A lot of people ask me stupid fuckin' questions 
A lot of people think that what I say on record 
Or what I talk about on a record 
That I actually do in real life or that I believe in it 
Or if I say that I wanna kill somebody that 
I'm actually gonna do it or that I believe in it 
Well shit if you believe that then I'll kill you 
You know why? 

Cuz I'm a criminal 
Criminal 
(You goddamn right) 
I'm a criminal 
Yeah, I'm a criminal 

[Eminem] 
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge 
And I'll stab you in the head, whether you're a fag or les 
A homosex, hermaph, or a transeves 
Pants address, hey fags, the answer's yes 
Homophobic? 
Nah, you're just heterophobic 
Starin' in my jeans, watchin' my genetiles bulgin' 
That's my mothafuckin' balls, you better let go of 'em 
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get ahold of 'em 
Hey, it's me, Versace 
Whoops, somebody shot me 
And I was just checkin' the mail 
Get it, checkin' the male? 
How many records you expectin' to sell? 
After your second LP sends you directly to jail 
Come on, relax cat 
I like gay men, right Ken? 
Give me an Amen 
"Amen!" 
Please Lord, it's born ease Jesus 
Hear us child, help us destroy these demons 
Uh, please send me a brand new car 
And a prostitute, while my wife's sick in the hospital 
Preacher, preacher, 5th grade teacher 
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither 
You can't teach me a goddamn thing 
Cuz I watch TV and Tomcat's cable 
And you ain't able to stop these thoughts 
You can't stop me from toppin' these charts 
And you can't stop me from droppin' each March 
With a brand new CD for these fuckin' retards 
And to think, it's just lil' ol' me 
Mr. 'don't give a fuck' still won't leave 
I'm a... 

1 - I'm a criminal 
Cuz everytime I write a rhyme 
These people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind 
I guess I'm a criminal 
I don't gotta say a word 
I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin' 
I don't take shit from no one 

Repeat 1 

The mother did drugs, hard liquor, cigarettes and speed 
The baby came out disfigured, ligaments in need 
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she 
Don't dare make fun of that baby cuz that baby was me 
I'm a criminal 
An animal caged to turn crazed 
But how the fuck you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised? 
So as I got older and I got a lot taller 
My dick shrunk smaller but my balls got larger 
I drink more liquor to fuck you up quicker 
Then you'd wanna fuck me after sayin' a word 
My morals went *pft* when the president got oral 
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk 
From his own employee, now don't ignore me 
You won't avoid me, you can't miss me 
I'm white, blonde hair, and my nose is pointy 
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die 
In plane crashes, and laughs, as long as it ain't happen to him 
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Eminem and Kim combined 
(The maniac sent) In place of the doctor 
Cuz Dre couldn't make it today 
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin' his place 
Oh, that's Dre, with an AK to his face 
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place 
I told you Dre, you should kept that thing put away 
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with an A 
I'm a criminal! 

[Dre] (Eminem) 
Alright look (uh-huh) 
Just go up in that mothafucka 
Get the mothafuckin' money and get the fuck up outta there 
(Alright) 
I'll be right here waitin' on you 
(Alright) 
Yo Em! 
(What?!) 
Don't kill nobody this time! 
(Alright!) 
(Goddamn, this mothafucka gets on my fuckin' nerves) 

[Eminem] (Bank teller) 
(Hi) How you doin'? 
(How can I help you?) 
Yeah, I need to make a withdrawl 
(Okay) 
Put the fuckin' money in the bag bitch 
And I won't kill you 
(Oh my God, don't kill me) 
I'm not gonna kill you bitch 
Quit lookin' around 
(Don't kill me, I've got 2 kids at home, don't kill me) 
I told you I'm not gonna fuckin' kill you 
Hurry the fuck up! 
*gun shot* 
THANK YOU! 

[Eminem] 
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it 
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it 
So I'll be disguised in it 
And if anybody identifies the guy in it 
I'll hide for 5 minutes 
Come back, shoot the eyewitness 
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business 
Die bitches 
Passed this scratched 'Vette 
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet 
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts 
Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck 
You mothafuckin' chickens ain't brave enough 
To say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut 
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up 
To make you mad, so kiss my white naked ass 
And if it's not a rapper that I'll make it as 
I'mma be a fuckin' rapist in a Jason mask 

Repeat 1 (4×)