Masturbation Saved My Life

Montreal

All my life I tried to be a boy - quite popular with girls 
I bought them flowers bought them sweeties - and gave them compliments 
But as I'm ugly I've got problems gettin' girls into my room 
When I watch them I touch them - they scream and run away 

So I decided t'have some pleasure lying lonely in my room 
I get my clothes off touch my penis and feel the gluey stuff 

When I'm lonely I'm used to masturbate a lot! 
Masturbation, hell masturbation saved my life! 

Now I'm 60 on retirement and my hand's still my best friend 
I'm still used to jack off twice a day to keep the pain away