Constant Collapse

Hotel Books

There is nothing here for me,
But I'm here for you,
So I will never leave.
And I'm starting to believe,
Every time you said you loved me,
You were just talking in your sleep.

And I said I would die for you
But that was before I knew
That it's all you wanted me to do
And time and time again,
I can tell you I hate you,
But that won't ever make it true
Cause even during the good times
When you kissed me,
I didn't want to open my eyes,
Because I didn't want to realize
How hollow our love was,
But now that it's over,
I'm still here, and all I want to know was love.

And I only talk about you in the past tense,
Because through all of this mess,
It's the only thing that makes sense.
And all I do these days is want
But I've settled for wishful thinking
And neglecting, and justifying my emptiness,
Because it's easier to see what you have
When you can see what your neighbor lacks,
I would give an arm and a leg
Just to have my arm and leg back
And I worked so hard to help you find truth,
Just to slowly learn that your silence says
Just as much about your character
As your words do.
We gave our love away.

I always thought that I would be okay.
I never thought I would be okay.
Through this silent note, what constitutes the truth.
Cause I can tell myself
Time and time again,
That I'm not making sense of this

And that cross around your neck
Was more hollow than your head
But I still just wanted to follow you to bed.
I never listened to my own voice,
Maybe some of us embrace death,
But some of us don't have a choice
And maybe I'm both because I didn't choose this
But that doesn't mean I'm gonna change
Because I never do, and you never did
And it scared me away
And that's why she still cuts your skin for you,
And that's why that she's still in you, and her name is Acceptance.
And she used to kill me, and now she is killing you.
And through all this stress and carried out disastrous distress

I've learned that I really don't like you,
But I forgive you,
Because I love you.
I love you.