The Glorious Epic of Three Men Who Are Awesome

The Axis of Awesome

Through the mist of smoke and flame
Rides a man, a mighty lord
His foes fall in pain
Women cry his name
The gift of rock his reward

With a voice that can power lightbulbs
Wound a bear and shatter souls
He calms the hounds of Hades
All the single ladies
Put your hands up
Rock 'n Roll

Under rock and craggy mountain
In the ancient hall he dwells
His piano shines with glory
He sings an ancient story
Of betrayal by the Elves

Wait, sorry. Ancient halls? Elves? 
You're making me a dwarf, aren't you?

No, no. You are a mighty warrior

His six brothers, grim and beardy
They saw a maid, as white as snow
A magic mirror found her
Now she's off, they flounder 
Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work he goes

Ah, thanks. I'm a dwarf then, a Disney dwarf

Yes, yes! A mighty, mighty dwarf!

Man of earth and man of fire
Battle brothers to the core
Valor soaring ever higher
But we're empty, lost without one more

Hello, my name is Lee
And I play the guitar
And I play the guitar!

What?

And so we ride onwards to destiny
Our foes and enemies slain
Fighting fierce beasts, eating their meats
We ride!
And Awesome's our name

Jordon!
Riding on a skeleton horse of fire!

Lee!
Riding on a skeleton horse of fire!

But no, I'm riding a skeleton horse of fire

Ya, you have to pick something different

Lee!
Riding on a skeleton horse of... water!

What? A waterhorse?

You mean like a seahorse?

Well, at least I'm not riding on a chicken!

Who said I'm riding on a chicken?

Benny!
Riding on a chicken!

But why do I have to ride a chicken?
You guys got to choose yours!
I want to ride a dragon!

And so we ride onwards to destiny
On horse, seahorse, and hen
Evil destroyed, homeless employed
We ride!
From now till the end

And in the misty halls of Asgard
Where the Gods watch over man
They tried to curse the Axis for our pride

But alas, we were too awesome
Their powers weak against our might
So we kicked them in the balls
And then they cried

And so we ride onwards to destiny
With swords and weapons and shit
Lightning will flash
Thunder will clash
We ride into infinity!

We fly and don't need a plane
We'll fill you with love
Till heaven and earth combine!
And Awesome's our name