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November (Sadistik)

Sometimes, I cant handle the cold/ Ill break another heart too fragile to hold/ Love dies, Im standing alone, painting false hopes is a habit Ive grown/ Come find, why I said I dont love you/ and instead I was humbled and content with the struggle/ That you gave me, and said that I was crazy/ Words became chains and love became safety/ I saw trust until I lost the view... And then I lost faith in us like I always do/ I refused, to complement your weakness/ Through all our ups and downs til I was sea-sick/ ...Flashbacks I remember so well, we both held/ In November, when the snow fell/ But that changed, you were not a friend to me/ I distorted and soon I lost identity/ And when we fought and I tried to break the innocence/ You said lies, and I became a hypocrite/ You tried to hold the sadness when you grabbed tight/ (But I moved on from the shadows of our past life)/ You said you couldn't live if I ran away/ But part of me died, anyway, when I had to stay/ In a storm that I saw in groundview/ And I couldn't find the I (eye), it was all about U (you)/ Year One! I felt the dear sun/ A brand new hope before the tears come/ Year two! I see In clear view/ Ashamed of myself when I am near you/ Year three! I watch the stars fade/ Im a zombie whos walking through a heartache/ Year four! Youre forever away and the sun now shines as my memories fade/ All the feelings I have are hard to word/ I cant see the problem, my vision starts to blur/ Into an image of a violent struggle/ Of a slow suicide since the time I loved you/ Id, gladly die if youd pacify/ But you need too many things that I cant provide, so/ You looked for it inside another's arms/ Lied through ya teeth and cried that nothings wrong/ (It didn't stop) all the cryin in public/ Or telling me Im not the only guy you were fuckin!/ But I gave in to all my fears instead/ The only thing that ran more than me (were the tears you shed) When you told me you cut inside ya flesh/ Youre depressed and youd rather die instead/ I could feel my heart tear to bits/ (The first time Ive cried ever since my parents split)/ And I knew, there was no you and I/ I kissed you goodbye, it felt like suicide/ Ob a bond that was made to sever/ When I turned my back on you and wouldn't face the weather/ And for a moment, it felt like nothing mattered/ Theres givers and theres takers, and youre just the latter/ I needed help but I got a struggle/ When I fell to pieces you couldn't solve the puzzle/ (We wept in puddles) til we were lost at sea/ (With regretful struggles) and a faded promise ring/ Your hands were full cuz you seemed to hold grudges/ While I chased both of our dreams through rosebushes, in November/ Year One! I felt the dear sun/ A brand new hope before the tears come/ Year two! I see In clear view/ Ashamed of myself when I am near you/ Year three! I watch the stars fade/ Im a zombie whos walking through a heartache/ Year four! Youre forever away and the sun now shines as my memories fade/ I couldn't think to hold a single hope/ So I pressed on my luck until my fingers broke/ Im treading steps through quicksand of past love/ To find closure from ice shoulders and hands touch/ And my mind is still plagued with the fragrances/ Of pain and bliss, and razorblades you made me grip/ When Id watch ya face with teary eyes/ And I had to cut myself so I could feel alive, but/ I found a place where the weather is much better now/ In greener pastures, where the rain is never out/ And ya face is replaced by another/ November's leaves stay, but have changed for the summer/ (and my) hope meddles (where I) go settle/ In the line that blurs from love to rose petals/ And the silence hurt, so I just followed through/ On a beaten street, never reaching peaks which I saw in you/ And now I see that you just took me for granted/ Had a diamond in the rough and you still took me for granite/ Cuz in November we gazed at sea scapes/ With each wave, symbolizing things that wed make/ Love and war we were born as keepsakes/ To underscore loves accord when peace breaks, In November/