Is Happiness Just A Word? (Vinnie Paz)

Run Run Run Darkness comes beneath the dying stars With all the blood and scars I'm gonna hunt you With fear I appear Nothing will stop me The greater Creature in me Shattered, I will capture you So run My family don't understand what I go through Under diagnosed for 20 years, ain't never broke through You ever been in such a fog you don't know you? Never being able to do the shit you're supposed to? I wouldn't wish it on anyone that I'm close to Wouldn't wish it on anybody that I'm opposed to There's not an accurate diagnosis to show you Basic neurobiology isn't close to it I'm watching life as a spectator I can't help myself, even though I possessed data It's not a part of my spirit to want to test nature You think you know what I'm feeling, cousin, then let's wager I'm having trouble retaining new information Familiar scenes starting to look foreign- derealization Everybody tired of being patient Mama wondering why her baby crying in the basement Constant rumination just exacerbates it To the point where I can't barely narrate it I've had doctors tell me that my mind is fascinating But they can't tell me why the sickness has been activated My head don't work, the meds don't work But I don't want to be dead, dead don't work Sleep's the cousin of death, the bed don't work Maybe I'd rather be dead; dead don't hurt Realization of an inherent emptiness Maybe that's another sin for the pessimist Possibly I am a jinn with a exorcist I've fallen because I've been on the precipice Maybe it's my mama's possible regret Maybe it's a neurological neglect Maybe it's the reason why water's wet The angular gyrus and where the frontal lobe connect But maybe I'm being too complicated for you Maybe I should just be calm and explain it to you The psychiatrist thinking they could fool you Paxel, Zoloft, it's just wasteful to you I've tried meditation, tried to sit in silence But how the fuck that help a neurochemical imbalance? Why would you tell a person that they were childish Without an understanding of the pain that they surround in? I always feel foggy somatic detachment It's like my body isn't connected to actions It destroys everything that's affected the fragments I don't have nothing but senses and sadness Darkness comes beneath the stars With all the blood and all the scars Nothing will stop me The greater creature inside of me Run Run Run