Goodbye (Bionic Jive)

I sit I'm my room claustrophobic, As I watch the walls breath succumbing to self pity, And these voices wont leave. I got a revolver in my hand with six chambers and they all full, Every bullet contradicts the contemplation of suicide. I wanna die. So I sit and clinch my bible until my palms sweat, And blister, cause I hate my sister. First I'm gonna light a candle in the form of a seance, And see the light on the wall reflect all this childhood neglect. I cock the hammer, I let the steel touch my tongue and taste the metal for the first time, I see the faces of my loved ones, but fuck a note, Cause when I do it, I want it to be a mystery, And let them feel the same pain that I felt, this is the remedy. Goodbye, sad days, I'd rather sleep my life away goodbye, heartbreak, I found my own way, suicide I get on my knees and say a prayer, I tell god that I cant handle all this pressure, I wanna kick it up there. Why should I wanna live? When my mother used to molest me in front of my stepfather, She beat me and he undressed me, see. He took my manhood before I became a man, So now I sit here at 16 with this gun in my hand. Death is the only way out, The murder of myself will show em all the there's a way out, I cry for my soul. Depression has taken a toll on my every existence, So when I think of humiliation I can't breathe, its time to leave. Cause I'm gone show what you did, For tormenting me as a kid, you raised me, Now look what I did I don't wanna die, I wanna breathe again, I don't wanna have to say My soul is slipping away, I don't wanna leave, Not in this way