The Explanation (Howards Alias)

I feel sick, that was sex not relationship. I've waited this time to find I already knew me. I now see that I was filled with apathy When I needed to feel like I could be what most of the other boys are. I wished I could have brought fantasy to life, Now all I want to be is not what I wanted today. It felt new but not as good as staying true to what to what I now see has been hidden away, but always a part of me. I respect all opinions; I respect all we've seen today. I tried so hard to do this I tried so hard to change my ways. But now I see that I can't change from how I've always been. So this might be you but baby, it's not me. I feel sick, that was sex not relationship. I've waited this time to find I already knew me. So why waste time pretending that I am fine with friendship Put on the line for something that means much less to me now? All these times I just froze up inside meant all this time I didn't feel so free. All these days I thought I'd change my ways and turn myself into something I'm not. All these times I just froze up inside meant all this time I didn't feel so free. Now I'm aware I do have love to share only in ways which feel right to me. Can't you see all I'm saying is for me this is not right just yet, I need to feel trust. I respect all opinions; I respect all we've seen today. I tried so hard to do this, I tried so hard to change my ways. But now I see that I can't change from how I've always been. And it doesn't make a difference when I try my heart fails me. So can you find it in yourself to accept what you see? Because this might be you but baby, it's not me.