Sleepless Remorse (Ashen Mortality)

They told me I would feel fine in a few days So confused people told me it was the only way Now all I feel is remorse My heart aches when I think about my child I can only imagine your face I let you be torn away from me in disgrace Now all around me is regrets Every morning I wish I could hold you in my arms Or see you sleep dream in peaceful calm But all I have is loneliness I cannot bear these thoughts oppressing me No-one told me I would feel like this How can I escape I'm sick with sorrow Has a baby just been slaughtered at my decree Does anyone else feel like me Why do you tell me these feelings are wrong That child was alive within me now he is gone In a few more days will the memories leave my head Of my child who was living who now is dead I cannot bear these thoughts oppressing me No-one told me I would feel like this How can I escape I'm sick with sorrow Has a baby just been slaughtered at my decree Does anyone else feel like me The nightmares still haunt me the sickness as I wake The repulsion I'm feeling is too much to take Visions of pain in sleepless night haziness Taking my mind morbid in craziness There is a reason for things I still feel So much unanswered wounds unhealed Many are the times words of comfort are spoken But still no release is here within my reach You can't hear me my child as I cry for you You could have had love that now far too late I can feel for you I have no-one to blame but myself I have no-one to take a share of the blame Their words bring no comfort to me No this is not self pity Until I die will I remain the same God forgive me please forgive me Forgive us all God forgive me please forgive me Forgive us all God forgive me Forgive us all God forgive me please forgive me Forgive us all Forgive us Through these tears hear my cries Love and forgiveness I see in your eyes My sin and misery you took in my place Please release me by your healing grace Lord my refuge is found in your peace In your strength all my fears finally cease You bring healing where darkness brought harm I know the ones who died are resting in your arms