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The Rant Song (Scrubs)

Patti: Dr. Cox, I'm not crazy! Dr. Cox: Am I still singing? Patti: Singing like a bird J.D: Dr. Cox, huge news! I pulled some strings and got the parking spot right behind yours! Bumper buddies! Dr. Cox: Still, you're not ne-he-hearly as bad as her Do you know how much you annoy me? The answer is a lot Should I list the reasons why? Well, I don't see why not It's your hair, your nose, your chinless face You always need a hug Not to mention all the manly appletinis that you chug That you think I am your mentor just continues to perplex And, oh my God, stop telling me when you have nerdy sex! J.D: Oh, by the way, last time Kim was in town, we got some appletinis and poured 'em on her good parts! Dr. Cox: See now, Newbie, that's the thing you do that drives me up a tree 'Cause no matter how I rant at you, you never let me be! So I'm stuck with all your daydreaming, your wish to be my son It makes me suicidal and I'm not the only one No, I'm not the only one Janitor: It all started with a penny in the door There was a hatred I had never felt before So now I'll make him pay, each and every day Until that moussed-haired little Dr. Cox: So now that is why I call you names like Carol, Jane, and Sue Like Moesha, Kim, and Lillian, Suzanne and Betty-Lou See, regardless of the names I pick, my feelings are quite clear You're a pain in every day of every month of every year! Patti: Dr. Cox, you gotta help me, 'cause I really am distressed! Can't you find another option, won't you run another test? Dr. Cox: If you want some kind of favor, really any kind of favor Please just get me peace and quiet from this God-forsaken pest! J.D: I think what my bumper-buddy is trying to say... Patti: Shut your cake-hole, Mary-Beth, or I swear to God I'll shut it soon! Dr. Cox: Congratulations, we'll schedule your test this afternoon