Criminal (Eminem)

[Intro] A lot of people ask me stupid fuckin' questions A lot of people think that what I say on record Or what I talk about on a record That I actually do in real life or that I believe in it Or if I say that I wanna kill somebody that I'm actually gonna do it or that I believe in it Well shit if you believe that then I'll kill you You know why? Cuz I'm a criminal Criminal (You goddamn right) I'm a criminal Yeah, I'm a criminal [Eminem] My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge And I'll stab you in the head, whether you're a fag or les A homosex, hermaph, or a transeves Pants address, hey fags, the answer's yes Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic Starin' in my jeans, watchin' my genetiles bulgin' That's my mothafuckin' balls, you better let go of 'em They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get ahold of 'em Hey, it's me, Versace Whoops, somebody shot me And I was just checkin' the mail Get it, checkin' the male? How many records you expectin' to sell? After your second LP sends you directly to jail Come on, relax cat I like gay men, right Ken? Give me an Amen "Amen!" Please Lord, it's born ease Jesus Hear us child, help us destroy these demons Uh, please send me a brand new car And a prostitute, while my wife's sick in the hospital Preacher, preacher, 5th grade teacher You can't reach me, my mom can't neither You can't teach me a goddamn thing Cuz I watch TV and Tomcat's cable And you ain't able to stop these thoughts You can't stop me from toppin' these charts And you can't stop me from droppin' each March With a brand new CD for these fuckin' retards And to think, it's just lil' ol' me Mr. 'don't give a fuck' still won't leave I'm a... 1 - I'm a criminal Cuz everytime I write a rhyme These people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal I don't gotta say a word I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin' I don't take shit from no one Repeat 1 The mother did drugs, hard liquor, cigarettes and speed The baby came out disfigured, ligaments in need It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she Don't dare make fun of that baby cuz that baby was me I'm a criminal An animal caged to turn crazed But how the fuck you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised? So as I got older and I got a lot taller My dick shrunk smaller but my balls got larger I drink more liquor to fuck you up quicker Then you'd wanna fuck me after sayin' a word My morals went *pft* when the president got oral Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk From his own employee, now don't ignore me You won't avoid me, you can't miss me I'm white, blonde hair, and my nose is pointy I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die In plane crashes, and laughs, as long as it ain't happen to him Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Eminem and Kim combined (The maniac sent) In place of the doctor Cuz Dre couldn't make it today He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin' his place Oh, that's Dre, with an AK to his face Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place I told you Dre, you should kept that thing put away I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with an A I'm a criminal! [Dre] (Eminem) Alright look (uh-huh) Just go up in that mothafucka Get the mothafuckin' money and get the fuck up outta there (Alright) I'll be right here waitin' on you (Alright) Yo Em! (What?!) Don't kill nobody this time! (Alright!) (Goddamn, this mothafucka gets on my fuckin' nerves) [Eminem] (Bank teller) (Hi) How you doin'? (How can I help you?) Yeah, I need to make a withdrawl (Okay) Put the fuckin' money in the bag bitch And I won't kill you (Oh my God, don't kill me) I'm not gonna kill you bitch Quit lookin' around (Don't kill me, I've got 2 kids at home, don't kill me) I told you I'm not gonna fuckin' kill you Hurry the fuck up! *gun shot* THANK YOU! [Eminem] Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it So I'll be disguised in it And if anybody identifies the guy in it I'll hide for 5 minutes Come back, shoot the eyewitness Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business Die bitches Passed this scratched 'Vette This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck You mothafuckin' chickens ain't brave enough To say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up To make you mad, so kiss my white naked ass And if it's not a rapper that I'll make it as I'mma be a fuckin' rapist in a Jason mask Repeat 1 (4×)